Sunday, October 28, 2007

If you need to get in the Halloween spirit, or just want to learn some scary things about and going on in Los Angeles, David Markland from has a Halloween blog about all things creepy, haunted, chilling, and just plain weird in the City of Angeles. It's called Creepy LA.

Even if you aren't from LA, it's a great blog, detailing the creepiness that is LA and those that make it so. Check it out. It rocks. Or haunts.

Monday, October 22, 2007

I mentioned a couple posts back that I'd received some semi-bad news. That news was that the company that I'm working for now, has hired a full-time person for the job that I've been doing for the last four months. I'd applied for the job, and was doing well at it. The job was proofreading DVD packaging for Warner Bros. new releases. It was actually very interesting and I got a great peek into the world of movie marketing and creative services production for a major studio. I also met lots of great people. My last day is October 29th, unless they can find something else for me there. I have low hopes for that.

The reason that I said it was semi-bad news, was that I'd been having second thoughts about the position. I wondered if I was playing it too safe so soon to coming out here. Yes, the job totally worked for me. But I was starting to examine the reasons why it worked and wondered if they were in my best interest. The person who they hired for the job had a straight proofreading resume, where mine is a writing resume. They felt someone who had a strict proofreading copy editing experience was better long run for the department. Though any form of rejection never feels good, I think they are probably right. They said it was a close call, and my boss said she'd give me a recommendation and facilitate meetings with people in editorial. The thing that is irritating is it has me job searching right before the holidays, the worst time in the world to try to find a job.

So, I went out. Shannon and I went to Green Door in Hollywood where he snapped this picture of me.

Me at Green Door in Hollywood

I was wearing a thigh-length new dress straight out of the late '60s, early '70s at a store I just discovered in Hollywood with the coolest clothes EVER. I wore my skinny knee-high Ferragamo boots and matching purse. Shannon looked awesome, embroidered shirt under a cool blazer, totally hipster. We saw David Spade there, who mingled among the crowd. Dude is shorter than I am. There were other famous people there but I have no idea who they were.

We ate, drank, talked, laughed and had a great time. It was a really cool place, French baroque decor with chandeliers and velvet drapes. Total scene, but that's exactly what I wanted. Somewhere to get dressed up and enjoy what LA can offer in that capacity. I'd discovered it when I'd driven by it one night and noted the cool door. After a little research I found the name and away we went. A little past 1 AM, when we left, there was a huge crowd of people waiting to get beyond the velvet rope. The bouncers had to part them to let us out.

Next to it was a huge club with a totally different vibe. We walked around a little before getting the car and passed a man carrying a passed out Asian girl in his arms. We looked, noticed, kept on walking. I'd had three cosmos but was holding my liquor. The ones they made there were smaller and weaker than how Jack makes them. Had I had three of his, Shannon would have been in that guy's position.

There are so many great clubs in Hollywood. Some old, some new. I can't wait to explore more of them. It's definitely the place to go out, offering a noir feel that Sunset doesn't. Sunset hops in its own way, but lacks the edginess of the Hollywood clubs. Perhaps it's the age and art deco architecture of the buildings, and the smaller blocks with so many streets. You can walk around there and feel the history of the place. A couple months ago, one bar that Shannon and I visited, Boardners, was one of the Black Dahlia's haunts. Sure, there are some tacky clubs there for sure. You just have to know where to go to avoid the drunk fighting sorority girls in ass high dresses (well...unless you're into that kind of thing) and guys who are total douche nozzles. It's pretty obvious which ones to avoid.

All aside, I'm still feeling good and look at this as a door opening rather than one closing. I'm trusting my gut, which was already sending me signals before I got the news. Funny how that happens.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

This is just so completely awful, senseless and tragic. Who could do such a thing? How can you look into a crowd of people who did NOTHING to you, walk among them, knowing you are their death?

I'm not going to pretend that I know anything about the politics here. I don't. The truth is, it doesn't fucking matter because acts like this are done by soul-less monsters. This horrific event won't get the coverage that it deserves. We won't learn about the families who lost loved ones and the holes that it rips in their lives. There will be no year anniversary follow ups showing the empty beds, places at the dinner table, the silence of their voices at work. Why? Because these were mostly Muslims and this happened in a Muslim country. The people in Pakistan dress differently than us and speak a language that has no combination of consonants or vowel sounds that most of us can remotely identify as familiar words. Had this happened in a mall in America it would be first page news on every newspaper around the world. We'd be shocked by images of people that look like us, and bloodied familiar icons. Gap basics, Juicy Couture warm-up jackets, T-shirts with familiar movie icons on them, Nikes, iPods, iPhones, skateboards, hand-held video game consoles, baby strollers, shopping bags with every label imaginable, credit cards, purses, Starbucks cups and the pristine surfaces and mall decor a stark contrast to the carnage.

I just don't understand that level of monstrosity. How can one think that anything will come of it except for heartbreak, shock and pain? And no, just because it looks different there doesn't make it any less close to home us in the rest of the world.
I can't sleep. It's 3:07 AM and I'm up on a work night. I got some semi-bad news today and I think that's why. Nothing life threatening, it's just that I'm going to once again, have to endure changes and disruptions. In a way, I was sort of prepared for it because of the thinking that I've been doing the last couple of weeks and I think in the long run it's going to be more of a good thing. Right now though, it sucks.

I'm drinking Amaretto to lull me into a false sleepiness. Luckily, it doesn't take much when I'm actively trying to take the edge off or get sleepy. What's irritating, is I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat during the day. It's when I should sleep is when I can't.

I'll elaborate more on the news, but just don't feel like it right now.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Last weekend I went to the Brewery art walk. As usual, I took some really shitty pictures, mainly because I wasn't that moved to photograph that day. Plus, my pictures have been of major suckage lately, and I think it's because my little camera is getting old and is low mega pixel. It's an awesome camera, just not for more artistic photographs. It's one with a screen instead of a viewfinder, which has always thrown off my composition and focus when shooting pictures. The show took place in an artist's colony where the artists live and work. It used to be you guessed it, a brewery.

This was one that I took inside a gallery. I liked it because it was the number three, and I was born August 3rd.


I was thinking today that things are going well and how that made for much less interesting blogging. I look at my older posts, so introspective and descriptive of my battle with depression. It's also weird to be older in a place where I was much younger and volatile. I'm driving down the Caheunga Pass and can almost see myself in my mid-twenties speeding past me. I would have been speeding past me, too with the passive way that I drive now. I was quick to anger but also quick to be excited and inspired. I only miss the good parts of her, that ghost of my twenties whom I see everywhere. In ballet class, her hand resting on the very same barre as mine, driving on streets, in friend's houses and apartments, in restaurants and coffee places that are still there. I'll see her again in the hair place that I'm going to on the weekend. All these places are hip to go to almost to a point where it ruins what I liked about them in the first place. They were hip before, but that hidden kind of hip. It was a fantastic time to be in my mid-twenties in Los Angeles. It was happening and raw, and that odd sort of cool that I've only experienced here. So many pockets of activity.

I don't miss the bad parts of her. The undiagnosed clinically depressed person who kept running into walls and not knowing why. The raw anger and need to prove myself that so frequently misguided me. There were great parts of her but I'm glad I'm in this mental space now and not on such a learning curve. I think there's a bunch more to discover and open up now that I've gotten her out of the way and manageable. I let her roam every now and then, but she knows who's boss.

Last Friday, Shannon and I went to see a documentary on Nick Drake at the Egyptian Theater in Hollywood. If you don't know who he is, you should. Shannon told me that he thinks I was Nick Drake in another life. He suffered from depression and eventually his getting in his own way and feeling so intensely led him to taking his own life. Thankfully, it wasn't the suicide that made Shannon make the comparison, but the sensibility and struggle with the black beast. It was a little unnerving watching it, because after it his sister, producer and friend answered questions. I felt like some of it was indeed very familiar, and the first documentary, the way they filmed it was spot on. No footage of him exists, so it was all done in pictures and interviews. You may know his music from the Volkswagen commercial a few years back. That song was Pink Moon. He only recorded three albums. Too bad, a brilliant musician and so talented. But, he did leave us with the gift he was able to give.

Here is the commercial. When I saw it I completely related with it. I'd done the same thing countless times when I had a convertible, driven under the stars letting the world in.