Tuesday, July 28, 2009

I signed up for personal training at the gym and today finished my fourth session. These are extra on top of the membership, as they have a personal training subsidiary that works out of the gym with actual certified personal trainers. I decided to do it because the only thing that you have in this world is your health. Once that fails, or you don't take care of it, nothing else matters. I'm not going to become a fitness nut or overdo it. This isn't about getting ripped. That's gross anyway. I'm sorry ladies, but it is and as I've said before, makes you look ten years older and angry. This is about doing what's right for my body and getting stronger. Increasing bone and muscle strength, endurance, energy and the coveted better sleep that exercise brings. And yes, of course I'd like to tone up and keep things from going south. But, I have realistic expectations.

I decided to go the personal trainer route because I knew that if I didn't have someone to be accountable to, I wouldn't go. So, I walked in and signed up for a year's worth of training at three times a week. It's my health and I look at it as the most important investment I need to make right now. And, because I know myself too well, I chose to do it to ensure that I get exercise. I also don't want to get injured and this lessens that chance.

The first three times, I was weak beyond belief but this time I felt a difference. I didn't get as deathly, near-collapse fatigued this time. Muscles do remember, and though I'm wholly out of shape, I could feel them saying, "Oh yeah, this does seem familiar," today.

What's nice this time around is that I'm totally chill about it. I'm not making drastic changes to my diet or lifestyle. I have a feeling that will come when my body demands it. If I force it, I'll rebel. And plus, I'd like to keep some sort of normalcy in that category as far as enjoying myself. This way, it can unfold naturally.

I will say it does feel weird to be working out again. It's a good weird, but I guess it's weird because this time I have nothing to prove. I'm not trying to achieve some look or anything. Just be healthier. So, right now I don't know where that puts me. But, with this mindset it's amazing how everyone else around me becomes invisible. And, that's a good thing. It feels...secure in a way that I'm entirely focused on what I should be.