Friday, March 07, 2008

I was way overdue for a picture change, so I wrote myself a note at work and actually followed up on it. My previous picture, though taken in Beverly Hills was when I was still living in Baltimore. I'd been on a job interview that I'd flown down for and was tooling around the city in a rental. A nice rental.

Even though that picture has an air of confidence if not cockiness, I was in a very uncertain time of my life. I knew I wanted to move back to Los Angeles. I was in Los Angeles, but nothing was in motion. I couldn't start the job tomorrow so I didn't get it. It was a contract position as a writer for the exact huge entertainment company that I'm working for now except in a different division. Funny how things work out.

Months after that was taken, I ended up moving back out here with no job and few prospects except for my ability to pound the pavement and a good writing portfolio. This new picture, which I've posted before on my blog was of me settled in Los Angeles, working and making a good paycheck. I was at a hot night club with Shannon and we were having a great time as he snapped the picture, therefore capturing the end result of having decided to just go for it. I have no idea where I get the gumption.

I remember the day that I decided to not go back to The Wire and move to Los Angeles. I loved the people at The Wire. I loved the job, but I'd done it for two years and I just couldn't stand Baltimore, no way around it. If I did a fifth season of the show I'd just be in the same spot a year from then. Anyway, in between Seasons of the show, I was working in one of my temp jobs when I made the decision to do it then. I'd never planned to stay in Baltimore, in fact I'd stayed much longer than I ever thought I would. However, The Wire came and extended my visa, for lack of a better term, and there I was almost five years later. I looked out the window from 20 floors up and all of a sudden the logic fell into place. I made the decision right then and felt a physical release of...something, like a heavy blanket, the kind they put on you for x-rays, lift off me as if pulled quickly. The rest of the day my steps were lighter and my brow more relaxed. I finally had a plan. How I was going to execute it, I had no idea. But I had decided the end result.

Though I've landed nicely for now, I'm experienced and humble enough to understand that there are no certainties here. There will be ups and downs, and at some point because I'm still working in a contract position I'll probably find myself scurrying around again looking for the next gig. That's okay, as it was factored in the plan. As the characters in The Wire have said many times, "It's all just part of the game."

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