Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Yes, I know most of my pictures aren't working. I'm in the middle of changing to Flickr, as so many of you championed, hands down. Thank you for your excellent, informed advice as always, and please bear with me as I slip into another outfit.

I'm winding down the job, and have been busy making sure it's going to be finished on time. Heck, ahead of time. When the last day of work arrives, I want to be completely finished, unlike last year. That was special circumstances, and I appreciated the extra work, but this year I'm ready to be finished. I've been having moments of despair that I won't get everything done even though I have two and a half weeks to do about a full week's worth of work. Before our "wrap" meeting, I was suffering jaw pain that I know was caused by clenching both while awake and asleep. The day after the meeting, and of course, before bed that night I'd had a cosmopolitan, the pain was gone. I have days where the work seems effortless, and today where it felt like I was running uphill on a treadmill getting nowhere. Some days I'm thrilled that I'm so far ahead and organized, other days I feel incompetent, worried that I won't finish.

And that's the thing. I've done everything to make sure that I do finish. Working weekends, over this last three day weekend included. The work I'm doing is on the continuity book, a huge, huge undertaking which involves writing character bios for each episode, every character per episode, and it's tedious. When I work weekends, I do it in coffee shops.

I think all the anxiety has to do with change. Even though I've done this before, meaning had a contract job that is near end, there is always anxiety of making that hop from one lily pad to the next.

I'm afraid I'll break form mid-air and belly flop into the water.

No comments: