Monday, September 06, 2004

I've been having computer problems so have not been able to post. Perhaps that's a good thing, as it's forced me to be innovative and hook up my laptop for DSL capabilities. It's different to write when you're able to lean back and sit with a computer on your lap. It's given me an idea on how to make a better working environment that won't have me sitting at my desk. I'll soon be in the market for a chair where I can work and write. A chair and ottoman, that is, and one of those pads that absorbs the heat from your laptop.

And that brings me once again to the topic of sitting at desks. I fucking hate it. In the several months that I've been on this job, I'm already seeing the effects that sitting at a desk has had on my body. I feel lethargic, and like I'm squashed into my mid-section like an accordion, because all day long, I sit, and sit, and sit.

When I get to work in the morning, it's hard to stay awake. One, because it's morning, and two, because I get up, spend the next hour getting ready and driving to work, all the process of waking up. Then, I get my coffee, and just when I start to feel half awake, I have to sit down at a desk and stare at a computer. At once, my eyelids start to droop and my body wonders why it has to be awake since I stopped moving. Its ancient instincts are telling it to slumber since I'm not using it to hunt and gather, or roam nomadically with my clan.

I'll admit, that desk jobs where there is more people activity around work better, but this one has me sitting in an office by myself. To some of you, this probably sounds heavenly, but not to me. I look out toward an open area, but for Christ's sake, it's so damn quiet in there it kills me.

I've been thinking that there should be legislation to force recess on workers. Not a lunch hour, but physical activity. First, it would be team building, second, productivity would probably skyrocket as endorphins would kick in and people would be healthier. Everyone I know wastes so much time at work being less productive than they could because of sedentary fatigue. The whole working culture is a joke, not to mention a killer. People gain weight, eat poorly, their world becomes their desks, cubicles, the walk from their parking places to their offices, and back. It depresses the hell out of me. Of course, there would be many options and levels of activity to accommodate everyone. But Christ, we're humans, and not meant to sit still for eight hours or more. And those who resist the idea the most, should be the first forced to do it as they probably need it the most. Even going on group walks as a start. I can see it now, corporate dodge ball.

Anyway, in their current form, desk jobs are not for me. I don't care how cool they are. The hours, lack of activity, monotony, and boredom that sets in just works against me. And that of course, has me wondering what it is that I can do. At this stage in my life, I didn't want to be wondering this, but here I am feeling like a teenager who doesn't know what she wants to be when she grows up. I'll be okay financially for a little bit after this job ends in October. I'm kind of looking forward to its end. I like my coworkers, but I don't like the unpredictability of the hours and being locked to a desk and a phone. In fact, some days I'm running out the door when I can. I've been that way since day one of office jobs, bolting out the door to freedom where I can roam. But what else is there that enables me to make a decent living? Working in a bookstore doesn't pay the bills. Plus, that shouldn't be my only option. Ideas are welcome.

I worked on a freelance job with an old friend and work colleague of mine. The response from him and the client to my writing was really positive. He even wrote that the project manager said that my first submission was the best start of any copywriter that they've ever had at their HUGE toy company. The change of pace was wholly welcome, and what an ego boost it was to have them say so many positive things. I'd love to do more work for them, and love working with Ron. He brings out the best in my abilities.

My mom and I went to see a movie called Garden State. Funny, touching, and great. I wish I could be half as adorable as Natalie Portman.

This Friday after work, I went to see us filming a scene in Bryan's neighborhood. He's had it up to his eye teeth with The Wire, as they use his street a lot to film the show, and I really wanted to see if everything was going ok. He'd written a letter earlier about having access to an alley, and I wondered if he was having to resort to running his circular saw during filming to get it. When I got there, I didn't recognize many faces since my job has me, yep, at a desk. However, little by little I saw people I knew from parties or get togethers. Stepping over cables, props, around directors chairs and lights, I watched as the scene that we had read over and over again in the writer's office come to life before my eyes. It's so different to see it, and to see the production staff scattered like ants around a hill, all having something to do, all eyes on the action. The scene was a very poignant one in the story line.

I haven't met Bryan except for via email and only know him by sight from the pictures on his website. As far as I know, I didn't see him outside, but figured all was well since I didn't hear the circular saw. I saw that a picture of me had made it onto the craft services truck, pasted up among the others of cast and crew. I was now an official part of history in the making this show. I was happy to see it up there, as an "Anne was here."

I have much more to write, but won't right now.

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