Sunday, June 27, 2004

Two weeks ago, we had a big party at our soundstage to benefit the Ella Thompson Fund, a charity that the creator of our show supports. It was a charity auction, and I donated an X-Files episode script that was autographed by Chris Carter as well as the DVD set of the 2nd season, from which that episode came. I already had the script, in fact had three of them from different episodes, and bought the DVD set to donate to the charity. I auctioned one script on eBay, donated this one, and have one left now. I'm not sure what to do with it. Keep it, or sell it.

I pulled out one of my ball gowns from Los Angeles to wear to the event. It's a timeless classic so still very much in style. No, not a dull, safe, simple black dress, but my gowns resemble Titanic wear, full length sheer beaded mesh over shimmery fabric, along with a beaded, sheer mesh shawl. They cost me a fortune, but it's been worth every penny. I could wear any of my gowns to the Oscars and feel completely dressed and in style for the occasion. When I buy gowns, I tend to dress on the elegant rather than trendy side, and my gowns are timeless, certainly not boring, and oh so feminine and sexy.

I wondered what it would be like going to a party like this in Baltimore. I'll say it was more sedated, people clumped more and mingled less. And yes, it was less glamorous. I found myself half there and half not, as I wasn't really very close with anyone yet, having just started the job a couple of months ago and only a couple people from my department were there. The sense of fun that I usually feel at such events was missing, perhaps because of the timing, but I don't think so. Ever since I've moved to Baltimore, I've felt completely disconnected from the place and people. I simply don't like it here. And, it's getting worse, not better. My eyes are on getting out of here, not on being here, and once I get into that mode, it's hard to get out. It will take a while, due to financial constraints, but the goal is there. I'm trying to focus on the "here," as best as I can for now, because it's not like I can just pick up and move.

I'd met some of the cast before, and met more of them that night. As the party wound down, Dominic West came over and sat with me and another Anne, (though her name is spelled without an e), and we all chatted a bit. Though his character is from Baltimore, he's British, and it was weird to hear his accent matched with his face. He was a bit hyper and funny, asking me about the research that I did for the show and saying he enrolled in a pottery class. I wasn't sure if he was kidding or not. I don't think he was.

In the middle of it, a woman plopped herself on his lap and he handled it really well. She had bid and won several items, including a package of things that his character would like. So, she earned a sit in his lap.

My mom and I were supposed to go to this together, but she opted out since it was right after grandmother. I was half in the mood to go, but thought that it would be good for me to get out. Like I said, half there and half not. Wondering how I was there in the first place and feeling completely ungrateful about it.

As I said, I did get "done up" for the event, as I always do. I love dressing up, even though I felt completely out of place driving through very unglamorous Baltimore in my unglamorous tree-dented Honda on the way there. The last time I put on that dress, I was driving through Los Angeles in my Audi TT Roadster to a very swank party in Beverly Hills. I was glad to have my Honda though, as I went to an after party at the first assistant director's house that was in a questionable neighborhood. The cast came along, and there we all were again. The cast and some of the crew of "The Wire" partying it up in a renovated rowhouse decorated with Ikea furniture. Again, I almost didn't go to the party, even though I was strongly encouraged by my coworkers. I just wasn't in the mood. However, sometimes that's the best time to go, when you aren't feeling like it. So I went. I didn't drink, and wasn't my usual social self. I was once again, wondering how I got in the middle of this party. I wasn't in the mood to schmooze or flirt, or make myself known. I was just taking everything in, not being shy but not being overly in everyone's face. I'd forgotten to put ice in my drink, and despite a coworker telling me to reach in the sink full of ice with my hand, I just couldn't, knowing that I'd pet a dog on the way from my car to the party. Dominic West scooped his cup in the ice in front of me, and without asking, I took his cup from him and poured his ice into my drink. "Would you like some more?" he asked, amused and a little taken aback. I said yes and he filled it up. It was pretty funny. Being a girl in a gown, sometimes you can get away with such things.

I stayed around for about an hour and a half, then decided to call it a night. I was tired, my bed was calling. I walked to my car, out of place in the rundown area in more ways than one. I stepped in strappy heels over broken sidewalks as the bass from the party raged on behind me.

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