Saturday, April 17, 2004

I did double duty this week in the job department. Now, it's my first weekend off and I'm enjoying it with a cat in my lap as I update my blog. It's a beautiful day out, and I'm going to go enjoy it.

This week, as I walked around the store, bits of sadness would poke at my stomach. Not because I was going miss the store particularly, but because I would miss most of my coworkers and seeing them at work. The cafe staff in their aprons, the booksellers and leads in their departments, the music sellers and the lead poking their heads over the bookshelf as I passed by and waving to me.

I will not however, miss the customers. I've made an appointment with the local contracting company to sandblast me naked to remove any bit of them from my person. I may look a little sunburned and scabbed for awhile, and patches of hair might be missing from my scalp, but it's all for a good cause and very necessary.

Speaking of the store, I had an ending to my employment at Barnes and Noble that fell into the "Well, that was FUCKING WEIRD," department. No scene, just a trip into the Twilight Zone that reminded me of the episode, The Eye of the Beholder.

The new job is great, stimulating, eye opening, interesting, fascinating, fun, and really cool. It's going to expose me to things and people, based on the subject matter and the role that I'll play in it, that will I think, rock my world. My coworkers are smart and funny, considerate and writers. Fascinating backgrounds that have evolved into their desire to tell a story and tell it well. Some are very well known novelists who write for the show, as well as ex police officers whose experiences stretch like tendrils all over the city. They can point to a corner and tell me of a crime or murder that happened there. One of them invited me on a casting field trip, as they called it, where they go to the source to find real life people to audition for roles. The trip left me rattled, and saddened. It's so different when you look into the eyes of these people. Our reason for being there broke down the barrier, but I still saw what a delicate tightrope they walked, and the silent heroes who do the best they can to provide them a net.

And it was after that day that I came to the store for my last time. I didn't know it was going to be my last night, as I was supposed to work today. My mind was on what I had experienced earlier in the day, and after being subjected to the utter foolishness of one of the managers that manifested in immature and bizarre behavior toward me, I decided to make that night my last.

So, upon closing, I quietly walked to my locker, picked up my things, crossed off the time on the schedule and walked around to each of my coworkers to say goodbye. I had really busted my hump to honor my two week notice, not to mention, had been a damn hard worker at that store, despite, due to this manager's poor handling of a problem when it was brought to her attention, and what I'd been subjected to by being left unprotected. And to be given such idiocy as a thank you because her inaction had finally snowballed into a major problem, and knowing this manager was closing my last night, I decided I was done. I will elaborate more at some time, but not now.

The funny thing is, I wasn't angry or hurt, just really flabbergasted. My neighbor, who for some reason was up late and invited me over for delicious cooked bananas with chocolate sauce, told me that I had taken control by cutting it off that night, and set my boundaries. We sat at her table in our pajamas and talked late into the evening, touching on the fact that so many people, women in particular let people whale on them and then show up for more.

But not this time.

So when this manager, who was unable to make eye contact with me said, "So, I guess I'll see you tomorrow," I replied, "No, actually, you won't," and after she stopped suddenly in her tracks and muttered a few other odd things, I said goodbye and walked out the door toward my future.

No comments: