Sunday, June 29, 2003

Before all the Matrix Reloaded hoopla dies down, I thought it might be a good time to post the pictures of my Trinity costume that I wore this past Halloween. This was a costume that I threw together in one day, since I decided to last minute dress up for work.

trinity trinity_kick

Click on the pictures for larger versions. My mom took these photos of yours truly. I'm sure it was a very proud moment for her.

It's always fun to assume someone else's personality for a day, especially an extreme character like Trinity. Even though everyone knows you are in a costume, and YOU know it's a costume, you are treated differently, FEEL differently, and that can affect how you act. That day, I was more confident and "in your face" than normal, and because of my appearance it was completely accepted. Though I like myself, I had fun inside Trinity's skin. I imagine that Carrie-Anne Moss, the woman who played her in the movie, did as well.

That's why I envy actors. Not for their celebrity, but because they get to explore so many versions of the human being both from the inside and outside with no severe risk to themselves or the ones they love. To dive inside another person's head or go to another time and give their own a rest.

To let go.

It's why I enjoy writing fiction so much, when that hole in the monitor appears and you're looking at the world through someone else's eyes. It's also why I enjoyed the book, The Parker Grey Show that I mentioned a few posts back. Aside from being a fun, engaging read, it goes deeper and explores that desire to take flight from ourselves during times when our own skin feels fallible. To pull strength from characters that seem so much larger to us than life and better suited to handle challenges that seem too much to bear for the regular life size reality of ourselves. Not to mention, they get a cool soundtrack and great lighting as they perform their deeds.

In reality, like me inside the Trinity costume, we're still pulling on our own strength, but at times disguising it from ourselves as coming from somewhere else seems to make it that much more accessible.

The book comes out July 1st, so go to your nearest book store or to amazon.com or barnesandnoble.com and buy The Parker Grey Show.

Do it, or I'll don my pleather and kick your ass.

Monday, June 23, 2003

Contentment.

I don't know why it's come all of a sudden, but I'm happy that it's arrived and I've welcomed it with a firm handshake.

Currently, I have no outside stimulation on to try to divert my attention away, no TV, Radio, CD's. Just me in my soft Old Navy T-shirt sitting with my legs crossed on my computer chair. My quiet apartment a comfort to the quietness I'm feeling inside.

Tonight, my own company is an ally, not an adversary. I feel like I've been moving more in that direction, and it's good when it hits.

So good. So I'm going to go enjoy it.

And memorize what it feels like.