Monday, June 17, 2002

I had the coolest Web experience the other night.

I found this Webcam by visiting a blog that links to my site, that allows you to watch live streaming video from a shop in Ware, England. They also have another Web cam outside the shop for a street view. I'm not sure what connection that this man, who calls himself Methusalah, has to the store, but it was on his site that I found the link.

I've always been fascinated by the fact that I can be sitting here in Los Angeles and watch life going on in England, Moscow, Tokyo, or wherever, and that the people walking by on the street or driving by in their cars have no idea that a girl from Los Angeles is watching them. And, can even see them for that matter. Forget about the personal Web cams, as these are the best ones as they represent real life in it's most candid form. You are literally a fly on the wall. Guess I won't be picking my nose when I think I'm alone on a city street. Some guy in Bangkok might be watching.

Usually, when I've checked in on the shop it's been closed, but I was up in the wee hours of the morning (imagine that) and decided to visit. I clicked on the shop link, and was delighted to see that it was open, the camera on the two or three women who worked at the counter, busy with the customers that were coming in and out of the store. I have a high speed connection, so it was pretty much real time from Ware, England. Since I was spying on them from far away, I thought I'd let them know of my presence and that I enjoyed their Web cam. I searched around the site and found an e-mail submission form, and titled it, "Hello from Los Angeles." I sent them a short note telling them that I liked their Web cam and was watching the store right now, and wanted to let them know how far they'd reached their audience. As a last minute thought asked them to give me a wave if they got my e-mail. I watched for another five minutes, thinking how ridiculous a request it was, as if they were going to stop what they were doing and wave to me. It was then that I saw a man in business attire walking toward the counter and smiling, and couldn't believe it when he walked up to the camera and waved, with two hands over his head. He was smiling and I was smiling, and the women at the counter looked toward me and smiled, as did a customer. The man checked his watch as if answering a question from one of the women, and I know they were asking what time it was in Los Angeles. They laughed some more and then got back to business. What a thrill that was.

I'm still blown away that someone in Ware, England waved to me real time in Los Angeles. And, that the people in the store were good natured enough to stop what they were doing in the back offices and give an insomniac in Los Angeles a wave! I was grinning ear to ear. Talk about interactive.

I was off today and am again tomorrow. The store has been completely slammed which is the way I like it. The time flies, I'm at my best and I never get bored. I wasn't in the mood to work on Saturday, but told myself that I was just going to exist and not care one way or the other. So I wasn't in the mood, that was okay. It was just a little time of my life that I had to be there. Luckily, we had free pizza that night so I didn't have to buy dinner for myself.

Cathy and Reese are out of town and it's been both nice to feel I can spread out a little more as well as lonely. I try to be pretty invisible as far as taking up space when they are here and that includes cooking, doing laundry and other things. I've been doing all of the above and it's made me feel a lot more human. I know that Cathy and Reese aren't that way, but because I'm staying here for free, I try to make it as easy as possible on them.

One thing that I notice when I'm at the store is that my mind is ripe with ideas and things I want to accomplish. Not only that, I'm motivated to do it. However, when I get home, that motivation subsides and I find myself frustrated because I didn't get anything that I'd planned finished. I end up surfing the Internet, watching some television, or whatever. Yes, I do get home at midnight, but this has been a pervasive problem. I'm trying to figure out how to carry that motivation home with me, and keep it for the days off, but when I get here it just dies. I think because I do thrive in a busy environment, and also have more energy in one. There's an old saying that says, "If you want something done, ask a busy person," and I think that I fall into that category. I have so much to give, and every day that I fail to edge closer to doing so, I get very frustrated. I think that's why graduate school is looking good. Not because I think some degree is going to make life easier, but so I can have a purpose again.

Right now, my only purpose is to keep my head above water as I move toward an unknown future, and that leaves me feeling empty and unfulfilled.

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